Camp Concierge

Be a part of our two-person Executive Team.  You must be a minimum ten year Burner, who is well entrenched in the do-acracy mentality.  You must have a proven track record of getting things done, no questions asked; Black Dot Rangers are especially preferred for this role.  You will be responsible for accomplishing the impossible on a daily basis.  Our guests have no preconceptions of what Burning Man can be, and we must not give them a negative vibe by having to say no to any request.

You will each take a thirteen hour shift each day, overlapping thirty minutes at the start and finish for proper task hand-off.

4 thoughts on “Camp Concierge”

  1. perhaps if the people you invited had any semblance of legitimate humanity in them they would be able to function on their own for a week without servants? or better yet would not commit vehicular assault on one of their neighbors (like they did last year, when one of your campers drove a gator into my camp, drove over my campmates foot, parked so he was blocking off our porta potty, and then staggered off like nothing was wrong. when we confronted him he laughed it off and said “its supposed to be a party, right?”)

    i know i do not encourage shitty people to come to playa. it diminishes the experience for those who CAN operate inside of a community and enjoy themselves without hindering others. having money does not trump the ability to be a decent human being.

    stop trying to vertically integrate your financial status with being an insider on the coolest party in the world. you had nothing to do with it being what it is (starting in 2009 does not make you a founding father, no matter how much influence being a board member gives you), and you clearly have no concept or care of what makes this event special for those who attend it.

    the 10 principals are not legal jargon to hide behind, they are awarenesses that each individual burner needs to keep in their heart. defending your right to bring a bunch of people who have no intention of honoring those values by hiding behind “radical inclusion” is preposterous. It only demonstrates what a sleazy little weasel you are, and how little you understand the values you are supposed to be upholding.

    honestly sir, you sicken me

    1. Oh come one! I thought we made up for this when we sent you guys an ice bucket full of popsicles? I’ll tell ya what… To make up for blocking your porta potty, I’ll give you and each of your camp mates one golden ticket. Each golden ticket is redeemable for one use of our Ambassador Suite Restroom facilities. Simply give your golden ticket to the attendant, and they will let you enter for a period up to fifteen minutes. Sorry, but only the platinum tickets allow use of the showers.

  2. @jared pieterick
    >stop trying to vertically integrate your financial status with being an insider on the coolest party in the world.

    U Jelly? LOL!

    Honestly, Jim, how are these plebs able to post on our private site? We need to get security locked down. Although their posts are funny as shit reeking of envy, I don’t want every tom-dick-and-harry getting wind of our plans. These clowns like to prank people like us.

    1. I can’t even tell you how many people have applied for our Cyber Guide position. Every damn one of them wanted to know if a Qube at Mirror Mirror was included in the compensation package. The fucking gall! Do you know any DevOps types who aren’t self-entitled pricks who don’t understand their place in our capitalistic caste system? It’s like trying to find a unicorn…

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