Negotiations are in the eleventh hour, and the BMOrg is still unwilling to grant the meager requests made by the BLM, putting the entire event at risk. In the unlikely event that the BMOrg were to stick to their principles, they could fail to get a permit and have to cancel the event. Gosh, it would be a shame if they did that, as the ticket says its non-refundable even if the event is cancelled… (If I were still on the board, I’d have rubber stamped this and slipped in a price increase for parking permits, and we’d be done. )
Just in case the BMOrg chooses to not cross this particular line in the dust, we are stepping up to do what they themselves will not. This burden justifiably falls upon us, as it was likely the extravagance of Caravancicle that inspired the BLM to greatness… You can thank us later.
New this year, and exclusively for our BLM partners: The Blue Zone!
This area of the camp is restricted to badged BLM officers, and their handcuffed guests. (Sorry officers, if you spark up a conversation with a guy or gal that isn’t into at least a little light bondage, you’ll have to go back to their tent.) In addition providing all of the necessities requested by Dan Love of the BLM, we are going that extra mile and adding the Mirror Mirror touch:
- Uniform starching, with undressing service provided by our Merriment Guides.
- Stress Relief Massage, because we need our BLM officers as well ‘rested’ as possible for their grueling shifts of driving around in air conditioned vehicles and gawking and scantily dressed Sparkle Ponies.
- Dry cleaning, for when an on-site washer and dryer just isn’t enough.
- Warm water bidets, and Merriment Guides to wipe their asses if requested.
- That’s It Ice Cream Bars, because Choco Taco’s look a little too ‘illegal alien’ for Nevada.
Burning Man is saved. You are welcome.