{"id":260,"date":"2015-03-15T19:20:28","date_gmt":"2015-03-15T19:20:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/?page_id=260"},"modified":"2015-04-16T13:57:47","modified_gmt":"2015-04-16T13:57:47","slug":"apple-watch","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/faq-2\/apple-watch\/","title":{"rendered":"Apple Watch?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As mentioned elsewhere in your camp brochure, we have settled on the Apple Watch as our exclusive ID and Payments platform for Caravancicle 2.0 at Burning Man 2015.\u00a0 We&#8217;ve received our shipment of five hundred watches, and our Mouse Army\u00a0of coders is working day and night to make sure there are fewer bugs in our system than in the Watch itself.\u00a0 (Sorry, Cookie Boy, but you know every first generation Apple product is a future paper weight.)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/IMG_20150303_021915.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-261\" src=\"http:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/IMG_20150303_021915-1024x851.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_20150303_021915\" width=\"660\" height=\"548\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/IMG_20150303_021915-1024x851.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/IMG_20150303_021915-300x249.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/IMG_20150303_021915.jpg 1520w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 660px) 100vw, 660px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>You must wear your camp issued Apple Watch at all times.\u00a0 It serves as your <a title=\"Personal Services\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/sample-page\/guides\/\">hotline to the Camp Concierge, Art Car rides, payment for enhanced services<\/a>, and even your ticket.\u00a0 If you lose your Watch, and you are unable to pay the identity verification fee, you could become a pariah forced to seek shelter amongst the peasants.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I can&#8217;t believe I&#8217;ve been getting this question&#8230;\u00a0 No, the default camp issued watch will not be the Apple Watch Edition.\u00a0 Get fucking real! \u00a0\u00a0 There were exactly twenty of those made, and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.macrumors.com\/2015\/04\/15\/custom-gold-link-bracelet-apple-watch\/\">they&#8217;ve all be given to celebrities<\/a> who get at least two hundred hours of television time per year; during which they are contractually required to wear them.\u00a0 Go into an Apple Store and ask to see one, and you&#8217;ll be shown a gold plated fake. If you try to buy it you&#8217;ll find that it is always out of stock.\u00a0 Cleverest marketing ploy ever!\u00a0 Get everyone lusting after something that doesn&#8217;t exist, and then sell the next best thing.\u00a0 Pure genius.<\/p>\n<p>Next answer:\u00a0 Yes, if you are one of the twenty people contractually required to wear your Apple Watch Edition at all times, we can install our custom Portal App onto your phone.\u00a0 Be advised that this is not an officially approved app, and may void your warranty.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As mentioned elsewhere in your camp brochure, we have settled on the Apple Watch as our exclusive ID and Payments platform for Caravancicle 2.0 at Burning Man 2015.\u00a0 We&#8217;ve received our shipment of five hundred watches, and our Mouse Army\u00a0of coders is working day and night to make sure there are fewer bugs in our &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/faq-2\/apple-watch\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Apple Watch?<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":140,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"tags":[17,14,6,4,5],"class_list":["post-260","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","tag-apple-watch","tag-bm2015","tag-burning-man","tag-caravancicle","tag-mirror-mirror"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P5ylUo-4c","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=260"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/260\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":308,"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/260\/revisions\/308"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tananburn.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}